A poem on the feelings of stillbirth

My Quiet baby


My small quiet baby, born oh so quiet,

You did not move, look into our eyes, or cause a riot.


I would feel your fluttering and jumps inside of me,

Yet how few and far in between they were to be.


I saw your pictures on the ultrasound being awakened from your sleep,

Then you would move around too quickly for me to have a closer peep.


You were born and I looked into those perfect but still fingertips,

So perfectly small with the most beautiful lips.


I knew that you were unwell but prayed for a cure,

But instead, God had a greater plan for you, my baby,  oh so pure!


Your sweet smell perfumes your cloths kept in my memory box,

Bringing back memories that burn like electric shocks.


Up to the singing angels your innocent soul was taken,

I did not see your eyes or hear your cries, feeling completely shaken.


I kissed you and said ‘I love you’ but how could this be it?

I kept wanting to hold on for a few more minutes, for just a bit?


There was sadness that turned into anger as I had to part,

Now you are just a painful memory forever imprinted into my heart.


I will never hear your voice or see you lose your first tooth,

I will never see you play with your siblings or see you grow into youth.


I will never see you walk your first steps or learn to swim in the pool,

I will never get to walk with you on your first day of school.


Yes, my heart is feeling a pain it never knew would exist,

I had to give you up but the short memory of you will forever persist.


My sweet baby John, you are not here but I will always love you!

I am thankful you are looked after, watching from above with the best view!


And with your eyes open wide, I will see you again soon,

‘I am your loving mama’ I will shout it out, all the way to the moon!


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